


Slaves to any semblance of touch

by Estelle



Category: Hollyoaks
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 10:01:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19885774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Estelle/pseuds/Estelle
Summary: Rumour has it that King James has finally taken a lover. But not everyone is happy that his choice has fallen on Harrry, a young soldier and strategist.





	Slaves to any semblance of touch

**Author's Note:**

> Here, have another AU with a happy ending. We need them. For Happy Jarry Holidays' Pride Round "Turquoise: Magic, Art, Secrecy" (Mostly Secrecy), and based on [this post](https://haikyuumon.tumblr.com/post/185913724049/fake-relationship-but-its-a-king-and-his-concubine).

Harry was very nervous. He was about to meet King James, and he didn’t know how to present himself. Sure, he was a competent soldier, having fought in the recent war and being responsible for the strategy that led the Nightingale forces to victory, but he had suffered greatly for it. The bruises still showed on his body, his ribs hurt with every movement and he would never be able to use his left leg completely again.  
His career as a soldier was over, and he couldn’t imagine what else he could be good for, and why the king would want to see him personally.  
Of course he knew that King James had been attracted to him, it was impossible to miss and he had even propositioned him on several occasions, but Harry had always refused, however tempted he may have been.  
But now, he was broken, and he couldn’t imagine that the king would still want him. Ste certainly didn’t, saying that he could never be with someone _like him_.  
So he waited with bated breath for the king’s arrival, and finally, the doors opened and King James stepped into the little chamber Harry had been told to wait in.  
To his surprise, he was alone, and Harry tried to bow deeply, aware that his discomfort must have been showing on his face.  
Immediately, King James rushed forward.  
“No, no! You must be in pain!”  
He cupped Harry’s cheek, lightly brushing a thumb over it, and Harry’s heart skipped a beat.  
“Why don’t you sit?”  
“Your Majesty...” Harry was at a loss for words, not being used to kindness like this.  
But then, wasn’t that what everyone said about the king: That he was kind? However hard he tried to hide it, the people adored him.  
Ever since he has rebelled against his tyrannical father, finally overthrowing him with the help of his cunning mother and his charming son, however unwanted he had been – the product of Mac’s desperate attempt to make James have an heir and secure the Nightingale line – but now very much part of the family, the kingdom prospered and the people were happy.  
And this just proved to Harry what a good person King James was, and his heart broke at the thought of how utterly unreachable he always would be.  
Especially when the king smiled and said “No, I insist”, gently guiding him to the opulent chairs in the corner of the room.  
Finally seated, Harry waited with a pounding heart what would happen now, but the king was still smiling.  
“I wanted to personally thank you for your efforts in the war.”  
Harry blinked. “What?”  
Then he remembered who he was talking to. “I mean, Your Majesty, thank you, but that is not necessary at all.”  
“Oh but it is! You have been exceptionally brave, and from what I’ve heard, you’re quite the strategist too. I think you have a very bright future ahead of you!”  
King James looked at him expectantly, and Harry couldn’t help but flinch.  
“That’s very kind of you to say, but I fear that nothing about my future will be bright.” Ashamed, Harry looked down at his leg.  
To his surprise, the king leaned forward, gently taking his hand, and Harry knew that he was blushing.  
“I had hoped, for your sake… Is there really nothing that can be done?”  
The king sounded so earnest, and Harry felt even worse. Of course he had expected the perfect soldier, probably planning the next campaign already, and now Harry had to let him down.  
“The healers did all they could, but my leg will never heal completely. I’m sorry, Your Majesty, but I’m afraid I’m permanently broken.”  
That’s what Ste had called him after all. Broken. Useless. Undesirable.  
So why should King James, the most amazing man Harry had ever met, think any differently.  
He fully expected him to take his hand away, now that he knew that Harry wouldn’t be of any use to him, but instead, the king leaned even further into his space, clasping his hand in both of his now.  
“You’re not _broken_! You might be wounded, but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t still amazing!”  
King James sounded so passionate, and Harry couldn’t believe what he was hearing.  
“But I will never be able to fight again!”, he protested.  
“Who cares about that? You have a brilliant, strategic mind and...” The king paused. “Hm. There aren’t any seats available on my council right now but...”  
A slow smile spread over his face and his eyes gleamed, and he had never looked more beautiful or more attractive to Harry.  
“I’ve never made a secret out of my… preferences”, King James continued, slowly raking his gaze over Harry’s body, who felt hot all over at that.  
“So if you pretend to be my lover, you would be closest to me, have a seat at my side, reside in my quarters, and advice me personally.”  
Harry sat utterly still. That sounded too good to be true.  
“Your Majesty...” he began, and realising how dry his throat was, wet his lips, thrilled when the king’s eyes were drawn to them.  
“I’m sure you can call me James if we are to be pretend lovers”, the king murmured.  
“James...” Harry tried out, and the king’s eyes darkened at that and he leaned in even further.  
Before the kiss that Harry had been hoping for could happen though, a knock sounded at the door and a servant stepped in.  
“Your Majesty, terribly sorry to interrupt, but your next appointment is due.”  
James sighed and stood up. “Of course. I’ll be right there.”  
At the door, he paused, turning back to Harry. “I expect to see you tonight.”  
With a wink, he was gone, and Harry took a moment to feel positively giddy before it hit him.  
_Pretend_. James had said _pretend_ lover.  
Of course he didn’t want him for real. That chance had long passed, and Harry couldn’t believe he had been stupid enough to hope.  
Still, the position sounded like heaven on earth, enabling him to still use his soldier training and strategy education, all while being close to the king. Besides, it was not like he had any other options. And if he died while pining after him, well so be it.

So that evening, Harry found himself in the king’s private chambers, unsure of everything. He didn’t know what to do with himself, how to stand, how to address the king, how to do anything really.  
He was still standing indecisively in the middle of the room, when James entered from the adjacent bathing chambers, only wearing loose trousers and a soft tunic, and Harry had to look away, because seeing the king so casual, so relaxed, so _trusting_ , was just too much for his bruised heart.  
“Good evening, Harry”, James greeted him, and Harry marvelled at the softness in his voice.  
“My king”, he replied, not entirely as casually as he would have liked, and still not looking at James.  
And of course James picked up on that. “Is everything alright?”  
“Yes, of course”, Harry rushed to answer, but James must have heard the hesitation in his voice, because he started frowning.  
“You didn’t have to accept the position. If you are uncomfortable with people assuming you’re my lover, I’m sure I can figure something else out.”  
“No, it’s not that. I just” _love you_ “thought that people might take issue with you choosing me?” It wasn’t the truth entirely, but it was one of his concerns nonetheless, and the only one he felt safe to voice.  
James was still frowning. “First of all, people take issue with a lot of things I do. Court gossip can be harsh. But having you by my side is worth it.”  
Harry’s heart squeezed painfully in his chest at that. How could he say that when none of this was real?  
“And secondly”, James continued, “I’m the king. I can choose whoever I want and there’s little they can do about it.”  
Harry nodded slowly. Then something else occurred to him. “Where am I to sleep?”  
“Why, in my bed, of course.” James sounded completely unperturbed, and Harry didn’t know how to react. Sharing a bed with James, being that close to him, without ever being able to reach out, sounded like the cruellest form of torture, and Harry wasn’t sure he could survive that.  
He tried to come up with something to say, but James continued: “Should any servants come to to wake us, they need to see us together, or this will never be believable.”

And so it went. They would share the bed, dine together, take walks in the garden together, visit the town together, and of course Harry would join the council meetings. He found that he really liked giving advice on strategy, and he took up overseeing the knights’ training too, and everything could have been wonderful, if every minute spent with James hadn’t made him fall in love with him more.

Then one day, Harry woke up feeling warm and content and utterly _safe_ , a feeling he hadn’t experienced since returning from the war, and when he opened his eyes slowly, he realised that James was wrapped round him, his arm around Harry’s waist, their legs entangled, and Harry’s head tugged against James’ chest.  
For a moment, he didn’t dare move, too focused on enjoying this feeling, then he froze for an entirely different reason. If he moved, and James woke up, this would get very awkward. Or more awkward then it was bound to be anyway.  
Still debating whether he should try to disentangle himself, the decision was taken from him when James moved slightly, and _oh_. It would _definitely_ be awkward now, no matter what he did.  
He knew that James was asleep, that this wasn’t necessarily for him, but god, did he wish it was, because he didn’t think he’d ever felt this good in his life.  
Then James shifted again, letting out a low sound that went straight to Harry’s groin, and he felt even _better_.  
But of course that didn’t last, because this was the moment James blinked his eyes open, smiling slightly, still sleepy, and instinctively tightening his hold around Harry’s waist, and Harry felt a surge of hope that this might be real after all, that James wanted this as much as he did.  
Tentatively, he moved his leg a little, and that seemed to wake James up completely, and he all but jumped out of the bed.  
“Harry, I am so sorry”, he apologised, and Harry felt like he had been stabbed in the heart.  
“It’s fine. You were asleep. It happens”, he waved him off and burrowed his head into the pillows. God, why was he so stupid to keep hoping for something that would never happen?  
They never mentioned the incident after that, and it didn’t happen again, and Harry wasn’t sure if he was disappointed or grateful for that.

About a month later, Princess Ellie was visiting, taking a break from touring the neighbouring countries to spend some time with her family.  
Harry was quite nervous to meet her, because he knew that her and James were close, and she must have heard about him, because the king having a permanent lover was definitely news that travelled fast.  
They were only briefly introduced before the council meeting though, and there, Harry quickly forgot about her presence, falling into his element easily and discussing strategy effortlessly.  
Afterwards, when James had already left for his next appointment, Harry was on his way to the soldier training grounds, when he saw Ellie walking with one of the council members, and instinctively ducked into an archway, the perfect place to overhear them.  
“Can you believe that he’s even allowed to attend the meetings? I mean, clearly the king only keeps him around for his looks”, the advisor, whose name Harry never bothered to learn, because after the first meeting it was clear that he was pretty useless, was saying, and Harry’s stomach dropped.  
What if the princess agreed with that? He knew that James valued her opinion, and if she told him that his advice was useless, he would certainly loose his position, since James definitely did not have him here for his looks.  
But to his surprise, Ellie disagreed. “You’re just jealous that he’s smarter than you, and angry that he pointed out the fault in your attack strategy.”  
The advisor scoffed, and then they were out of earshot, and Harry grinned to himself. It certainly seemed like Ellie was in favour of him, and his heart suddenly felt a lot lighter.

In the evening, a party in Ellie’s honour was held, and after the official speeches and banquet were done, Harry was quite happily mingling, but he would be enjoying it more if this very persistent noble would just leave him alone. He had already mentioned how close he was to the king, but that didn’t seem to deter him.  
Stealing glances at James, who was across the room, deep in what appeared to be a serious conversation with his sister, from the way he was frowning, he wasn’t sure if he should go over, not wanting to disturb them.  
He was just about to say something a little more rude to the annoying noble, when James suddenly appeared at his side. Delighted, he turned to him, but before he could say anything, James was cupping his cheeks and kissing him soundly.  
After a second of pure shock, he completely melted into the kiss, pulling James closer by the lapels of his intricate dress jacket and deepening the kiss.  
When they finally parted, both breathing hard, James was smiling brightly, and Harry knew without a doubt that he would forever be completely and utterly in love with this man.

Much later, after the party had wound down, they were in James’ chambers, getting ready for the night, and Harry was giddy with the thought, that maybe tonight, _finally_ , something would happen. After a kiss like that, it just had to, hadn’t it?  
But then James spoke up. “I’m sorry about the kiss.”  
Harry felt his stomach drop and he sighed. “Of course you are.” He hadn’t meant to sound that bitter, but he couldn’t help it. He had gotten a glimpse of what could be, but _of course_ it wasn’t real.  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” James was frowning, and Harry sighed again.  
“Nothing. It’s fine. Just go to bed.”  
But of course James wasn’t going to leave it alone. “Clearly it’s not fine. You’re upset.”  
And suddenly, Harry just couldn’t take it anymore. “Of course I’m upset! I’m bloody in love with you! I’ve been in love with you for ages, and then you go and propose _this_ , but of course it’s only pretend, because how could you want me, of course you don’t, and I got that, okay? It was fine, I was managing, but you just had to go and kiss me like that, and it felt so real, but of course it isn’t, because I’m a stupid idiot to even hope that. So yeah, I’m upset!”  
At this end of his rant, Harry was breathing hard, and James looked utterly stunned, and goddamnit, now he had ruined it all.  
“You’re not stupid”, James finally said, and Harry let out a harsh laugh, because of course James would focus on that.  
“Yeah, I know, strategic mind and all that. Still makes me an idiot for thinking that that would be enough for you.”  
“Hold on.” James took a tentative step towards Harry, then seemed to decide against coming closer and Harry’s heart ached at the thought of having lost him completely now.  
“You think I don’t want you because you’re ‘broken’, as you yourself put it?”  
Harry flinched, the words just another blow to his battered heart. To his horror, he could feel tears forming in his eyes, and he blinked rapidly to keep them from falling.  
“Why would you say that? You’ve never been cruel to me before.” He was aware how pathetic he sounded. It really was no wonder that James didn’t want him.  
“Harry!” James looked horrified, and rushed forward to take Harry’s hands. “I don’t think you’re broken. I’ve told you countless times. You’re amazing and brave and brilliant, and I’ve wanted you the moment I saw you, and I’ve loved you almost as long.”  
“But...” Harry didn’t know how to process this, having his whole world turned upside down with just a few words. “But you said pretend!”  
“Because you kept rejecting me. You told me time and again that it would never happen, so I finally got the message.” James sounded dejected, and Harry couldn’t have that.  
“Because I was with Ste. Not because I didn’t want you. I’ve always been attracted to you.” It felt good to finally admit it, and when James smiled slowly, Harry’s heart jumped in his chest.  
“And you really love me?”, he still asked, sounding uncharacteristically shy, and Harry grinned.  
“I do. Want me to show you how much?” He let his gaze travel over James body, raising one eyebrow suggestively, and James laughed, before capturing his lips in a kiss.  
A kiss that was real and perfect and spoke of their pure, unadulterated love.


End file.
